Apotheosis

As you may have noticed, I have just changed my profile picture here to something a little more personal and meaningful.  I had originally chosen a frame of William Blake's "Newton" for a number of reasons.  First, for the most topical and obvious, a reference to the study of Newtonian physics and the study of geometry, as it relates to Freemasonry and other sacred subjects.  The second, deeper layer is a tip of the hat to Blake, himself a mystic, who thought of Newton as someone who was unable to think outside his own scientific circles and recognize a greater spiritual reality.  Lastly, as recent historical research would have it, Newton's own esoteric endeavors in subjects such as alchemy and bibliomancy have come to light.  Newton then, as such, lived life with one foot in science and the other in mysticism, something to which I aspire.

Recent events, however, have caused me to brandish my Magic Sword.  In the Golden Dawn Tradition, the Magic Sword is a symbolical instrument of the Sephirah Geburah, and is meant to be employed for the purposes of banishing and the warding off of evil forces and influences.  Therefore, its hilt is painted red, and various Geburic and Martial Names of God, Archangels, Angels and Divine Beings are painted upon it in their flashing color green.  A nearly identical version of the Magic Sword is wielded by the Hiereus, who is the officer in the Golden Dawn Temple who symbolically sits in the darkest part of Malkuth, guarding against the multitudes that sleep through the light and awaken at twilight.

These multitudes are part of the Qliphoth or Shells, the resultant shards of the cosmogonic event called the Shevirat ha-Kelim or the Shattering of the Vessels.  According to Lurianic Kabbalah, the initial Sephiroth or vessels to contain the Divine Light were created in Tohu or Chaos.  So when the Light flowed into the vessels, they were subjected to the process of Din or Judgment when the Light reached Geburah.  They were judged to be imperfect, and thus they shattered.  The shards fell and become the Qliphoth, along with the Light, which scattered in Nitzotzoth or Sparks of Holiness.

However, the effect of pouring pure Light into imperfect vessels is not the reason why I'm writing this blog entry.  Rather, it is about the effect of filling vessels of innocence with the luminescence of external splendor which is internally corrupt.   This is the Venereal radiance, "known as Nogah amongst the Shells", and is often referred to as a form of Serpent.  Affixed to the Middle Pillar, it is Nehushtan, the Celestial Serpent of Wisdom.  Let loose, it becomes the Serpent that slithers around the Qliphothic Tree on the Sitra Achra.

Such is what happens when seekers of the Light, new to a tradition and a community, find themselves joining up with an esoteric group and mentor who looks like the real deal, but beneath the veneer are toxic, or at worst, predatory.  Instead of finding the spiritual alchemical transformation they seek, these seekers instead end up as shattered vessels, divided from their "order" through tragedy, often entirely alone to try and deal with their grief and heal from the damage done to them.  Learning to trust again seems to many of them like an unclimbable mountain, and the idea of joining a different spiritual group practically unfathomable.  Others go "on the rebound", joining a similar group, often presenting itself as entirely different but, under the surface, ends up being painfully similar.

I have been made aware of numerous happenings like this as of late.  I do not know if this is the fallout of the Grand Cross in the Cardinal Signs currently in the Heavens, but it happens much too often to too many good and sincere people.

I myself have been through four different Golden Dawn Orders.  My jump from first to second was a complete rebound.  My jump to the third was an "allergic to Orders" move, as the group of us went totally independent.  For the fourth, I took my time, and proceeded carefully and cautiously.  (Maybe too cautiously than the folks in that Order deserved!)  I have now been with the HOGD for over eight years now, and I'm very happy to be with an Order where the Chiefs are unpretentious, selfless and, most of all, sane.

It is said that wisdom comes from good judgement.  Good judgement comes from experience.  And most of all, experience comes from bad judgement.  So let me say, I have my fair share of wisdom in this particular subject matter.  That said, I have good friends that have had similar yet different experiences, and some who have stared deep into the heart of corruption in some of the leaders in the esoteric community.

It is my intention to come together with a few of those notable fellows and commence a series of blogs as a definitive guide to the perils and pitfalls of dealing with esoteric leaders, mentors and organizations.  Our goal is to share our knowledge and wisdom (see definition above), so that other seekers of the Light won't have to go through the same trials and tribulations that we did.

Stay tuned to this page, as it will stand as an index and table of contents for this blog series.  I hope to get the first installment published within a week.

Jorge Hevia, III Passed December 10, 2013 Requiescat In Pace

Last Wednesday night, I was informed that Jorge Hevia, a former Golden Dawn associate of mine, had passed away almost five months ago.  I was shocked, for sure, as he was still a young fellow, but I mourned more over the fact that no one in the know breathed a word about it for all this time.  Regardless of how one felt about the man, he was a rather notable figure in Golden Dawn circles.

Jorge and I met and went through the Outer Order grades together in the EOGD before the turn of the millenium, back when it was still known as the Hermetic Order of the Morning Star International (HOMSI).   He jumped ship a while before I did and, when my time came, he pretty much personally escorted me right over to the A+O in 2002.  He and I worked extensively together for the next four years, he as "Chief Legal Counsel" throughout that time, and me as Cancellarius Ordinis starting in 2004.  He must have received his 7=4 sometime after I left in 2006, and likely had become Praemonstrator Ordinis upon Jean-Pascal Ruggiu's departure.

We had a good working relationship, even a friendship, at the beginning.  There was a fair bit of strife, suspicions and inconvenient truths towards the end, which is not proper to get into at this juncture. Needless to say, we never spoke to one another after I left the A+O, but I do remember him being rather weary already at that early point in time.

Now that he has passed beyond the Veil, I truly hope he has found the peace and happiness that seemed to elude him so on this material plane.

March 28th would have been Donald Michael Kraig's 63rd birthday.  Although the memories of him are good, it was a fresh infusion of grief all the same.  I find it ironic that so many people, or at least people I know, have death dates so close to their birth dates.  It would seem that karma is more than just a collection of twists of fate.  Sometimes, it's just plain twisted fate.

Yet even before Don's birthday came to pass, there was a suggestion that the magical community was ignoring the "elephant in the room".  What it boils down to is, dozens of magicians performed hundreds of healing rites for Don, and he died anyway.  Well, those are indeed the facts, are they not?  The implication would seem to be then that this was a great failure for the magical community, and the belief in magic in general, but I find that conclusion to be at least a bit myopic.

As far as healing rites go, suffice it to say, "this ain't my first rodeo".  I have been on both sides of this coin that was minted in antiquity.  I have been a participant in rites which have essentially pulled lives back from beyond the veil.  I have performed multitudinous rites for people who were simply beyond my reach.  Experience, is it said, is the best teacher, and I have learned much from this particular brand of experience.

First of all, cancer is hard.  Diseases usually fall under the influenza of the malefic planets, Mars and Saturn.  The nature of cancer is when cell growth goes unbridled, the case of an afflicted Jupiter gone wild.  That's why treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation therapy are effective countermeasures.  They are basically full-frontal Martial attacks on the body, in the hopes that their effects destroy the cancer before they destroy the host.  That's also why most of the magicians I know were not only doing Solar work to improve Don's health, but Mars work to destroy the cancer.

Furthermore, this wasn't just any old cancer we were trying to get rid of.  This was stage IV pancreatic cancer.  That type of cancer alone carries a woeful survival rate, but by the time it has developed to stage IV, the chance of survival is around 1 percent.  Even if all our magical work had improved his chances ten-fold, the odds were still horribly against him.

Over and over again I've seen, when the sick are beyond curing, the energies devoted are directed then to palliative care.  Both the suffering until death, and the transition to the afterlife, are quantifiably eased.  My best friend's mother died from pancreatic cancer, and the suffering she endured in the last two weeks of her life I would not wish upon my worst enemy.  Don died peacefully and painlessly in his sleep.  That alone is a minor miracle in an of itself.

Personally, I think we as magicians have this tendency to fall into a soft narcissism that "my will be done".  There is some rationale for this, as magicians invoke and banish forces and entities at will, and also create living talismans to do much the same.  That which the magician invokes, s/he may banish, and what s/he creates, s/he may destroy.  Magicians are not the creators of other human souls, so it is folly to think that our magic can control human life and death.  Mages can appeal to the Creator to change a human fate, and that appeal may be answered.  Just as often, however, the final effect feels similar to signing an e-petition to Congress, and just as effective.

In the end, no person can change another person's time, and somehow, we need to find the grace to accept that, especially when it is time for the ones we love.  The original mythical temple of the Order of the Golden Dawn was named "Licht, Liebe, Leben", or "Light, Love, Life", and I think those words are ordered specifically for a reason.  Not only does it reflect the tripartite human composition of spirit, soul and body, but I believe it is in the order in which the magician may affect Creation.  Don received a lot of Light and a lot of Love, but we could not extend his Life.  Despite that, if he died knowing how loved and appreciated he truly was, then I say "two out of three ain't bad".

I can still remember the very first time I performed a Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram.  It was sometime in the spring of 1990, and I was on a job assignment in a small city in rural upstate New York.  I was 20 years old, so I couldn't go to the regular bars, because I could get arrested.  There was an underage bar in town, too, but once I saw all the VERY young girls hanging out there, I figured I could get arrested just as quickly there.

But perhaps the very thin social scene wouldn't have made any difference for me.  I was a smart but painfully shy guy, who could have easily been the poster child for social anxiety disorder (if such a diagnosis had existed at the time).  My small but close circle of friends were either back at college an hour and a half away, or back home two and a half hours away.  Suffice it to say, I had copious time on my hands, I wanted to do something constructive with it, and getting hooked on 21 Jump Street wasn't in concert with that agenda (although Johnny Depp was pretty good even then, but I digress).

I had already been dabbling in matters esoteric for a number of years by then.  Astrology was my best focus, but tarot, astral projection, crystals and other such new age stuff was also in my mojo bag.  Magic was still taboo for me then, and having been raised Catholic only doubled down on that dogma, but one cool, rainy spring evening, I made the decision to put my soul in jeopardy and give this LBRP thing a try.

My living room was quiet and dark, save for two lit tapers on a square end table, now situated in the middle of the room.  I sat down and started the four-fold breath, and I distinctly remember a loud boom from an M-80 going off, making me practically jump out of my skin.  I could have taken that as a sign and ran screaming from the room, but I instead chose to face my fear and do the LBRP anyway.  I took my time, taking great care in every little part of that ritual.  When I was done with the ending Qabalistic Cross, I sat back in my chair to feel the change in the room.  What I actually felt was a change in myself.  It was a change that I could not identify right away, but I soon realized that my mind was just as quiet as the room was.  Then I found the word for what I was feeling: serenity.  It was a feeling entirely foreign to me, but extremely comforting.  I was hooked.  My life changed forever that night.

The source from which I got my instructions for performing the LBRP?  "Modern Magick" by Donald Michael Kraig.  I spent the next six months working through the entire book.  The magic and meditations became a daily practice.  As my mind became healthier, I started to work on my body as well, and lost about 50 pounds overall.  I started gaining self-esteem and began to break out of my anxiety-ridden shell.  I became a healthier person.  I became a better person.  I started to attract better quality people into my life.  Those who were not good for me found creative ways to spin themselves out of my life.

Don wrote that "Magic is not something you do.  Magic is something you are."  I'm that period of time, I became magic, and I am forever in Donald Michael Kraig's debt for it.

So here I am, again on job assignment, when I got the news this morning that Don passed beyond the Veil into the Company of the Gods.  It was an inevitable, but very melancholy moment, and it was hard to focus on anything else throughout the day.  Fortunately for me, I had this little tool called the LBRP to get rid of those unhappy and distracting thoughts.  After that, my mind shifted towards contemplation and reminiscence of the magical life that started 24 years ago, thanks to Don and his seminal work.

I never met Don in the flesh, but had the good fortune to correspond with him through email regarding my research and writing on the Rosicrucian Vault, and got the chance to chat with him over the phone once for about half an hour. That was very special to me, and I was sure to thank him for what he did.  I wish his soul peace and godspeed.  I wish his family and cherished ones love and consolation.  If you can, please send a few dollars to help out with the outstanding medical bills.  As I personally move forward, I will continue to hold out the Lamp of Knowledge best I can, the same Lamp that Don made available to so many a generation ago.  How can I not?  Magic is not something I do.  Magic is something I am.

For those not already in the know, an urgent appeal was made for healing just a couple days ago.  Donald Michael Kraig, a well renowned and respected author in the esoteric community was recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

Don is best known for his book Modern Magick, first published in 1988.  Since then, it has gone through a couple evolutions, including a second edition having been published in 2001 and a twelfth lesson later added to the book in 2010.  His very approachable writing style made this a best seller and the premier "Magick 101" book of the time.  Many readers first cut their magical teeth on this book, including yours truly.  We are all affectionately referred to as "Don's Kids".

Nick Farrell has written a ritual and set up an event in Facebook to coordinate healing efforts for Don.  For those who do not have quite as much time, a simple Rose Cross Ritual can be used to send healing light as well.

Please join in this endeavor.  Don has changed many lives for the better.  Let's return the favor.



UPDATE:  The effort to "Heal Don Kraig" has now become a Facebook group.  

UPDATE 2:  Tabatha Cicero has posted a Rite of Healing on the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn blog.

UPDATE 3:  Don is home from the hospital!

About six months ago, the Golden Dawn community had come together like never before and published a significant treatise on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls.  One of the major contributors and collaborators on that project was well-renowned author Aaron Leitch.

I've known Aaron for nearly ten years now, and we've gotten into some really fascinating discussions about Golden Dawn magic, particularly of the Enochian persuasion.  When I saw him last, about a month ago, he was wearing a patch on his glasses, but the patch was covering his good eye.  A cataract was growing over its field of vision and would soon completely cover it.  Since he was already legally blind in his other eye, this meant he was slowly, but inevitably, going functionally blind.  Saving his eyesight would require surgery.

Understand that Aaron, like almost all those who write on matters esoteric, does not make a living as an author.  We writers of the arcane are motivated by our love of the subject matter and the hope that we can shine the Lamp of Knowledge for a wayward soul.  That said, the harsh reality is, the profit margin and the sales volume are simply not there.  So Aaron, only able to afford high deductible health care through his employer, would have to pay $5,000 that he simply did not have.

Losing Aaron as an author would be a significant blow to the greater esoteric community.  His writings on grimoiric, Solomonic and Enochian/Angelical Magic have shined a great light in these lesser known and understood areas.  His online correspondences have also provided much guidance for esoteric cyber-seekers around the world.  Also, for me, the idea that he would never see his lady or his daughter again with his own two eyes was practically unbearable.

My first thought was to look to my Freemasonic brethren and call upon the Knights Templar Eye Foundation.  Masonry has been known for ages to help those in need, and the Foundation's original mission was "to provide assistance to those who face loss of sight due to the need for surgical treatment without regard to race, color, creed, age, sex or national origin provided they are unable to pay or receive adequate assistance from current government agencies or similar sources and to provide funds for research in curing diseases of the eye."  However, it seems as if their mission has changed:

"On December 31, 2010, the Knights Templar Eye Foundation, Inc., by direction of the board, ceased participating in direct patient care...The new mission statement of the Foundation is "to improve vision through research, education, and supporting access to care."

Oh, Freemasonry.  I heart you so hard, but at nearly every turn, you find new and ingenious ways to disappoint me.

So the New Year came and went, and then this happened.  A YouCaring fundraiser was set up with the goal of raising $5,500 to cover Aaron's medical costs and other small associated miscellany.  The esoteric community responded in a manner simply not imagined.  The monetary goal was reached within 48 hours.  In fact, the fundraiser was deactivated because they had reached a total of $7,400 donated by 200 contributors.  Aaron has already posted his reaction to his blog.

For those wondering, the extra money raised will be donated to the Himalayan Cataract Project.  As the fundraiser is now deactivated, those who would still like to make a donation may do so at the Project's donation page in Aaron's honor.

I find it amazing how quickly and powerfully the esoteric community came together to help one of its own.  Sadly, the richest nation on the planet seems to think it's acceptable to allow a productive member of its society to lose his eyesight simply for being guilty of the crime of not having enough money.  This fundraiser was a great light, but the simple fact that it had to be done indicates a darkness in the heart of the nation.  Medical bills are the #1 cause of bankruptcies in America, and such a thing should be anathema in the eyes of a Rosicrucian, who professes nothing but to cure the sick, and that gratis.

If you feel the need to further contribute to an organization who supports a similar philosophy, then the Physicians for a National Health Program may appeal to you.  Although single-payer health care his its share of problems, it's a step in a better direction and indubitably more moral than letting human beings fall through the cracks. 

Now that the financial obstacle has been removed, thanks to the kindness and generosity of so many, I wish Aaron a very safe and effective surgery, and also a very speedy recovery.  I'll be checking up on him, so he'd better have his new eyes peeled!

I can remember a time, back about a decade or so ago, when the most recent "Golden Dawn Wars" started.  A person couldn't go anywhere in the online arena, whether it be alt.magick, or the Golden Dawn Yahoo Groups (most especially the Golden Dawn Meeting Place), or the Order-based fora offered up, without witnessing bickering and infighting as far as the eye could see.  Arguments about lineage and legitimacy, who were the REAL heirs of the Golden Dawn legacy, were the most popular.  Then the juiciest gossip about misconduct or malfeasance by certain Order Chiefs would come out, to the audience's relish.  All this did a lot of damage to the Golden Dawn community, and more especially its reputation, to any esoterically-minded person who heard about the mudslinging.

Yet in the midst of these various and sundry skirmishes, there would be a rare, occasional post which would basically say, for each person mired in those battles, there were many others simply doing the Work in silence.

This book is proof of that declaration

The Commentaries on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls is the culmination of an idea over ten years in the making.  Twenty-seven authors from fourteen different Orders and organizations and one selfless publisher, with a singular vision and love for the Golden Dawn System of Magic, were able to set aside any political differences and complete a very well-written work in peace.

As you read through the various commentaries, you will notice that the authors come from a wide spectrum of backgrounds and experiences, and I'm sure some of them will flat out disagree with some others' commentaries.  (I know I do.)  I do not see this, however, as a dilution nor a dispersion of the original Golden Dawn egregore.  Rather, I see it instead as a rich diversity, in which differing viewpoints can be shared and synthesized, or if not, practitioners have simply agreed to disagree like mature adults.  When all is said and done, we are all much more alike than we are different, and that is just one of the many reasons why this book's author is listed as the Golden Dawn Community.

Having been both a participant of the online kerfuffles and a contributor to this book, I guess you can say I have been both part of the problem and part of the solution.  Ten plus years, though, is plenty of time to learn a lot of lessons.  The main thing I have learned is that those voices that speak the loudest or most prolifically rarely come from either knowledge or wisdom.  Far better to listen to those who speak softly and sparingly, most especially the still, small voice of the Divine Spark within.