Apotheosis

I can still remember the very first time I performed a Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram.  It was sometime in the spring of 1990, and I was on a job assignment in a small city in rural upstate New York.  I was 20 years old, so I couldn't go to the regular bars, because I could get arrested.  There was an underage bar in town, too, but once I saw all the VERY young girls hanging out there, I figured I could get arrested just as quickly there.

But perhaps the very thin social scene wouldn't have made any difference for me.  I was a smart but painfully shy guy, who could have easily been the poster child for social anxiety disorder (if such a diagnosis had existed at the time).  My small but close circle of friends were either back at college an hour and a half away, or back home two and a half hours away.  Suffice it to say, I had copious time on my hands, I wanted to do something constructive with it, and getting hooked on 21 Jump Street wasn't in concert with that agenda (although Johnny Depp was pretty good even then, but I digress).

I had already been dabbling in matters esoteric for a number of years by then.  Astrology was my best focus, but tarot, astral projection, crystals and other such new age stuff was also in my mojo bag.  Magic was still taboo for me then, and having been raised Catholic only doubled down on that dogma, but one cool, rainy spring evening, I made the decision to put my soul in jeopardy and give this LBRP thing a try.

My living room was quiet and dark, save for two lit tapers on a square end table, now situated in the middle of the room.  I sat down and started the four-fold breath, and I distinctly remember a loud boom from an M-80 going off, making me practically jump out of my skin.  I could have taken that as a sign and ran screaming from the room, but I instead chose to face my fear and do the LBRP anyway.  I took my time, taking great care in every little part of that ritual.  When I was done with the ending Qabalistic Cross, I sat back in my chair to feel the change in the room.  What I actually felt was a change in myself.  It was a change that I could not identify right away, but I soon realized that my mind was just as quiet as the room was.  Then I found the word for what I was feeling: serenity.  It was a feeling entirely foreign to me, but extremely comforting.  I was hooked.  My life changed forever that night.

The source from which I got my instructions for performing the LBRP?  "Modern Magick" by Donald Michael Kraig.  I spent the next six months working through the entire book.  The magic and meditations became a daily practice.  As my mind became healthier, I started to work on my body as well, and lost about 50 pounds overall.  I started gaining self-esteem and began to break out of my anxiety-ridden shell.  I became a healthier person.  I became a better person.  I started to attract better quality people into my life.  Those who were not good for me found creative ways to spin themselves out of my life.

Don wrote that "Magic is not something you do.  Magic is something you are."  I'm that period of time, I became magic, and I am forever in Donald Michael Kraig's debt for it.

So here I am, again on job assignment, when I got the news this morning that Don passed beyond the Veil into the Company of the Gods.  It was an inevitable, but very melancholy moment, and it was hard to focus on anything else throughout the day.  Fortunately for me, I had this little tool called the LBRP to get rid of those unhappy and distracting thoughts.  After that, my mind shifted towards contemplation and reminiscence of the magical life that started 24 years ago, thanks to Don and his seminal work.

I never met Don in the flesh, but had the good fortune to correspond with him through email regarding my research and writing on the Rosicrucian Vault, and got the chance to chat with him over the phone once for about half an hour. That was very special to me, and I was sure to thank him for what he did.  I wish his soul peace and godspeed.  I wish his family and cherished ones love and consolation.  If you can, please send a few dollars to help out with the outstanding medical bills.  As I personally move forward, I will continue to hold out the Lamp of Knowledge best I can, the same Lamp that Don made available to so many a generation ago.  How can I not?  Magic is not something I do.  Magic is something I am.

About six months ago, the Golden Dawn community had come together like never before and published a significant treatise on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls.  One of the major contributors and collaborators on that project was well-renowned author Aaron Leitch.

I've known Aaron for nearly ten years now, and we've gotten into some really fascinating discussions about Golden Dawn magic, particularly of the Enochian persuasion.  When I saw him last, about a month ago, he was wearing a patch on his glasses, but the patch was covering his good eye.  A cataract was growing over its field of vision and would soon completely cover it.  Since he was already legally blind in his other eye, this meant he was slowly, but inevitably, going functionally blind.  Saving his eyesight would require surgery.

Understand that Aaron, like almost all those who write on matters esoteric, does not make a living as an author.  We writers of the arcane are motivated by our love of the subject matter and the hope that we can shine the Lamp of Knowledge for a wayward soul.  That said, the harsh reality is, the profit margin and the sales volume are simply not there.  So Aaron, only able to afford high deductible health care through his employer, would have to pay $5,000 that he simply did not have.

Losing Aaron as an author would be a significant blow to the greater esoteric community.  His writings on grimoiric, Solomonic and Enochian/Angelical Magic have shined a great light in these lesser known and understood areas.  His online correspondences have also provided much guidance for esoteric cyber-seekers around the world.  Also, for me, the idea that he would never see his lady or his daughter again with his own two eyes was practically unbearable.

My first thought was to look to my Freemasonic brethren and call upon the Knights Templar Eye Foundation.  Masonry has been known for ages to help those in need, and the Foundation's original mission was "to provide assistance to those who face loss of sight due to the need for surgical treatment without regard to race, color, creed, age, sex or national origin provided they are unable to pay or receive adequate assistance from current government agencies or similar sources and to provide funds for research in curing diseases of the eye."  However, it seems as if their mission has changed:

"On December 31, 2010, the Knights Templar Eye Foundation, Inc., by direction of the board, ceased participating in direct patient care...The new mission statement of the Foundation is "to improve vision through research, education, and supporting access to care."

Oh, Freemasonry.  I heart you so hard, but at nearly every turn, you find new and ingenious ways to disappoint me.

So the New Year came and went, and then this happened.  A YouCaring fundraiser was set up with the goal of raising $5,500 to cover Aaron's medical costs and other small associated miscellany.  The esoteric community responded in a manner simply not imagined.  The monetary goal was reached within 48 hours.  In fact, the fundraiser was deactivated because they had reached a total of $7,400 donated by 200 contributors.  Aaron has already posted his reaction to his blog.

For those wondering, the extra money raised will be donated to the Himalayan Cataract Project.  As the fundraiser is now deactivated, those who would still like to make a donation may do so at the Project's donation page in Aaron's honor.

I find it amazing how quickly and powerfully the esoteric community came together to help one of its own.  Sadly, the richest nation on the planet seems to think it's acceptable to allow a productive member of its society to lose his eyesight simply for being guilty of the crime of not having enough money.  This fundraiser was a great light, but the simple fact that it had to be done indicates a darkness in the heart of the nation.  Medical bills are the #1 cause of bankruptcies in America, and such a thing should be anathema in the eyes of a Rosicrucian, who professes nothing but to cure the sick, and that gratis.

If you feel the need to further contribute to an organization who supports a similar philosophy, then the Physicians for a National Health Program may appeal to you.  Although single-payer health care his its share of problems, it's a step in a better direction and indubitably more moral than letting human beings fall through the cracks. 

Now that the financial obstacle has been removed, thanks to the kindness and generosity of so many, I wish Aaron a very safe and effective surgery, and also a very speedy recovery.  I'll be checking up on him, so he'd better have his new eyes peeled!