Just a few days ago, Nick Farrell posted a list of Ten Tips for Young Occultists on his blog. Although replete with personal experience and insight, it was also controversial, and ruffled some feathers in the wider esoteric community. They too had their own valid insights and counterpoints. I think the most unfortunate part of the quibbling was that the delivery and tone overshadowed the message in almost every case.
I've already written a lot about being careful of toxic teachers in the esoteric arena, but so far, there has been a fundamental point left unexpressed. It is the seeker, the student, that has just as much responsibility for the situations and relationships they get themselves into. I cannot count the number of times newcomers read the Survival Guide articles, have them agree with every word, and then go back and do everything the articles told them not to do. (Needless to say, these people do not become my students.) So yes, there are toxic teachers, but there are toxic students as well. They are the ones who will generate tons of drama focused upon themselves, suck up the vast majority of the group's time and energy, and when the teacher tries to set a healthy boundary, they run off screaming that they got spiritually and psychologically abused.
It is my aim here to present the same types of tips, not just for the student, but also for the teacher. I also hope to present them in a much more composed and philosophical manner, and in that spirit, I look to one of the greatest philosophers in history, Socrates.
For Students
Tip #1: "All I know is that I know nothing."
This is the original Socratic Paradox. The initial spark of true wisdom lies in recognizing one's own ignorance. When you are in the position of the student, this is a tenet that is fundamental to embrace. Keep an open mind.
Tip #2: "If he who does not know kept silent, discord would cease."
Instead of this tip being about the value of a student's opinion, I suggest it should rather be about silence itself. This is not about muzzling underlings. It's about basic discipline and common courtesy. Elementary school children are expected to exercise such restraint in the classroom. Why shouldn't adult-aged esoteric students?
Tip #3: "Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue – to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak."
As a student, are you there to learn the mysteries or to express yourself? This doesn't mean you shouldn't question the teachings, but it does mean that you can't receive the teachings if you're spending all your time chattering. For everything, there is a season. Let that open mind act as a sponge. There will be plenty of time to share later, when sharing has greater value.
Tip #4: “There is no greater evil one can suffer than to hate reasonable discourse.”
The Socratic Method has been used for millenia as an effective teaching tool which stimulates critical thinking (something woefully lacking in most new age circles). Ask lots and lots of questions, but only ask relevant questions. Be an active participant in your learning. You, and you alone, are responsible for it!
Tip #5: “Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.”1
Crowley said "Every man and woman is a star". What he neglected to mention is that you're a single star in a galaxy 100,000 light-years wide, among 300 billion other stars. You may be unique, but you're not all that. On the other hand, you're not some cold, dead planet, either. At least you have some light, so it's up to you how you want to shine.
Tip #6: “My plainness of speech makes them hate me, and what is their hatred but a proof that I am speaking the truth.”
For being perhaps the greatest philosopher ever known, Socrates could get a little rough around the edges. He didn't mince words when it came to children and their "bad manners", "contempt for authority" and the way they would "tyrannize their teachers". Good teachers do not suffer fools gladly. They will set you straight when you need it, and tell you the unvarnished truth when you don't want to hear it. By all means, never tolerate abuse, but start developing a thicker skin sooner rather than later. Because if you act like a dumb ass, you're going to get butthurt. Suck it up, Buttercup. You didn't think occultism was all unicorns and rainbows, did you? If you got your wake-up call from your teacher instead of Andras, you got off light.
Tip #7: “To be is to do.”
It is amazing how many students get their initiations and then do virtually nothing, as if joining is all there is. If belonging isn't quite enough, they will tend to pull the group into becoming some social club with a casual interest in the mysteries. Remember why you're there. The only thing that matters is the Work. You might make friends there, but you're not there to make friends, and the teacher is definitely not there to be your BFF. Get your priorities straight, and don't waste people's time, either the teacher's or your own.
Tip #8: “Socrates gave a lot of advice, and he was given hemlock to drink.” — Rose Kennedy
If the relationship has any tangible duration or depth, transference issues between student and teacher are practically inevitable. Transference can either take a positive (attractive) or negative (repulsive) form, but either way, the teacher is always expected to gracefully deflect such things. It doesn't always happen that way, and it's very easy and very human to cast aspersions. Furthermore, if your opinion of your teacher swings suddenly from Angel on Earth to Demon from Hell, then the flaw is probably not on your teacher, but rather on your viewpoint. This may come as a shock to new students, but teachers are human, too. Instead, take the "more than human" approach, check your ego at the door and gain some introspection.
Tip #9: “Let him that would move the world first move himself.”
You didn't think that the Temple furniture and regalia just appeared out of thin air, or that the Temple was set up with a wave of the Hierophant's Wand, did you? When you enjoyed the Mystic Repast, did you ever wonder where the rose and wine, bread and salt came from? If you think traveling a couple hours to Temple once a month is such a hardship, instead try hosting that day and organizing the other thirty days of the month. Stop taking your teachers and your Temples for granted. Show your appreciation not just in words and dues but in deeds. Bring something to the table. If you don't know what, do what you do in the classroom: ASK.
Tip #10: “I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others.”
Question everything and everyone, but do so discreetly and respectfully. Learn that oftentimes, the delivery is just as important as the message. Because Socrates also said, “To express oneself badly is not only faulty as far as the language goes, but does some harm to the soul.” If the adults in the room stop acting like adults, it could either be a knee-jerk reaction which will cool down in time, or it might be symptomatic of a more systemic problem. If the issue is irreconcilable, then it might be time to part ways. So when you as a student do the questioning, have a clear line to your teacher, but also have a clear path to the door.
For Teachers
(You might see a pattern here)
Tip #1: "All I know is that I know nothing."
This is the original Socratic Paradox. The perpetual spark of true wisdom lies in recognizing one's own ignorance. The more you study a subject, the wider the field gets, and more you realize how uneducated you truly are. When you are in the position of the teacher, this is a tenet that is fundamental to embrace. Keep an open mind.
Tip #2: "If he who does not know kept silent, discord would cease."
You don't know everything. You don't even know everything about the tradition you're teaching. Some teachers are so insecure that they feel they have to pad their knowledge where their education is thin. You would be surprised how much respect you would get from your students if you didn't have the answer and honestly said "I don't know". You're a teacher, not a bullshit artist.
Tip #3: "Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue - to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak."
As a teacher, are you there to teach the mysteries or to grab the spotlight and show off? This doesn't mean you shouldn't disseminate the teachings, but it does mean that the students ought to be able to play a role in their own learning. Let that open mind act as a sounding board. Any teacher who can't learn something from his/her students is no good teacher at all.
Tip #4: “There is no greater evil one can suffer than to hate reasonable discourse.”
The Socratic Method has been used for millenia as an effective teaching tool which stimulates critical thinking (something woefully lacking in most new age circles). These are not just students you're teaching, but the next generation of teachers of your tradition! Be an collaborative participant in your training. You, and you alone, are responsible for it!
Tip #5: “I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think.”
You may be well-educated in your tradition, but you're not all that. You may have more light than your students, but the light you shine won't make a lick of difference if your students aren't engaged and their eyes are closed. Foster a contemplative environment in your classes.
Tip #6: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
If your students are not sycophants (and you don't want them to be), they are going to be a little rough around the edges. By all means, you do not have to suffer fools gladly, but don't forget that you once were them. Set them straight when they need it. Otherwise, first pass it through the Three Sieves of Socrates: Is it true, is it good, is it useful? In other words, don't be a cunt.
Tip #7: “To be is to do.”
For teachers, it's easy to talk the talk. But teaching is more than pontificating, it's about leading by example, so you'd better be ready to walk the walk as well. Because if you do not practice what you preach, you're not going to be a respected teacher, you're going to be just another hypocritical poseur.
Tip #8: “Mankind is made of two kinds of people: wise people who know they're fools, and fools who think they are wise.”
If the relationship has any tangible duration or depth, transference issues between teacher and student are practically inevitable. Transference can either take a positive (attractive) or negative (repulsive) form, but either way, the teacher is always expected to gracefully deflect such things. It doesn't always happen that way, and it's very easy and very human to cast aspersions. Furthermore, if your opinion of your student swings suddenly from Angel on Earth to Demon from Hell, then the flaw is probably not on your student, but rather on your viewpoint. New students are raw and haven't been refined in the fires of the alchemical furnace yet. Take the "more than human" approach like you're supposed to, check your ego at the door and gain some introspection.
Tip #9: “Let him that would move the world first move himself.”
You didn't think that these students appeared out of thin air to put you on a pedestal and wait on you hand and foot, did you? The relationship is teacher and student, not master and servant. Stop viewing your students as underlings. Show some appreciation for their participation and enthusiasm. Everyone brings something to the table. If you don't know what that is, open your eyes and stop looking down your nose.
Tip #10: “I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others.”
As a leader in the esoteric community, you are going to be questioned mercilessly, misrepresented constantly and judged harshly. It's not going to matter what you do or say, so you might as well do and say the right things. If the children in the room act up and act out, it could either be a knee-jerk reaction which will cool down in time, or it might be symptomatic of a more systemic problem. If the issue is irreconcilable, then it might be time to part ways. So when a student questions you, let him question you directly, but if he crosses the line, don't hesitate to show him the door.
For Students Who Think They Don't Need Teachers
Tip #1: “Experience is the best teacher, but a fool will learn from no other.” — Benjamin Franklin
Enough said.
1May be misattributed
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